Tag Archives: money

Six-nipple dog jacket

If, like me, you are adversely affected by laziness, poor self-esteem, and baked potatoes, clothes shopping leaves you open to all kinds of mental anguish. Continue reading

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Update From The Flat That Time Forgot

Earlier this year, I foolishly made a number of public resolutions. By my reckoning, I’ve achieved seven out of the twelve, and made at least tentative steps towards the remaining five. I’ll let you decide which ones they are. Continue reading

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An Open Letter

To the person who stole my bag from the Sun in Splendour, W11:

You, sir or madam, are a total ****ing ****. Continue reading

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Will Work For Money

I have recently become unemployed. Whenever I tell anyone, their faces crease into expressions of kind understanding, and most begin to make special little sympathetic noises; the kind of vowel sounds made only by stroke victims and the truly empathic. Continue reading

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