The traffic was horrific and Westfield itself, a circle of hell. However, now I am back home and in possession of a gin that will, I hope, paralyse me, I can offer the following review of The Hobbit:

Short people, swords, beards, man-plaits, singing, swords, trolls, shouting, fighting, swords, goblins, preciousssss, fire, falls, penises swords, hairy bromance, stirring music, dragon. And ONE female character who appears to be heavily sedated throughout and whose first ‘action’ is to receive a compliment on her youthful appearance.

Don’t talk to me about spoilers. We all knew this was going to happen.