Me: “So yeah, the sequel is about a sixteenth-century Roman courtesan and her dwarf manservant.”
My mum (wistfully): “When I was 16, that’s all I ever wanted to be.”
Me: “What, a dwarf manservant?”
My mum: “No, a courtesan.”
Me: “When you were 16, you wanted to be a prostitute?”
My mum: “Oh yes.”
Me and my dad: “…”
My mum: “But a reaaaaaaaally classy one.”
—
D for Dalrymple 