To whom it may concern
Dear Sir or Madam,
First all, I want it on the record that in general I am generally EXTREMELY PRO Innocent veg pots… especially the Indian Daal one. My colleague Aggy favours the Moussaka one. And I certainly wouldn’t kick the Mexican Potato one out of bed (if our local shop had it).
Today I have the Thai Coconut Curry pot. And Innocent… I am so disappointed. There is a little kick, but it is, somehow, simultaneously tasteless. It tastes of spicy water. There are too many water chestnuts (nobody’s favourite vegetable). I am not excited by this vegetable pot. A pot like this was not worth the £2.78 paid in Waitrose, nor the vast amounts of emotional energy I expended waiting for 4.5 minutes in fevered anticipation. This pot may, in fact, have ruined Christmas.
Aggy says she had this one before and it was rubbish for her too.
Innocent – help me enjoy lunchtime again. Stop selling horrible pots.
Thanks a lot for your e-mail. Consider your general love and appreciation for our veg pots firmly on the record. We are however very sorry to hear that one of the little fellows may in fact be solely responsible for the ruination of your festive season. That’s pretty serious. Thai coconut curry is one of our most popular recipes, but we appreciate that it’s not for everyone and we’re just really sorry it wasn’t for you.
In an attempt to reignite your Christmas spirit, we’d love to send you a veg pot voucher so you can enjoy one of our other recipes on us, so if you let me know your address I’ll get some out to you.
All the best,
Your e-mail arrived just as I was about to upend the remnants of my disappointing veg pot over some urchins singing carols in the street below. However, your soothing words have gone some way towards reigniting the latent Christmas spirit trapped deep within my blackened soul. The urchins live this time.
I do agree that sampling further veg pots may restore full festive bonhomie round my way and so would be most grateful for anything you should care to send to me at the below address.
Thanks very much.
Ho! ho! ho!
Thanks a lot for getting back to me, and please accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you. I’ve just got back to work after a week long party in celebration of the salvation of the urchins, and frankly I’m a little the worse for wear.
I have popped an extra voucher in the post in the hope that some veggie goodness can help lighten that blackened soul of yours.
All the best,
My soul overflows with felicity. Tears of joy fall from my eyes and coins from my hands. My happiness quite literally knows no limits.
Thank you for this Christmas miracle.
My feelings reciprocate yours wholeheartedly, the elation experienced upon reading your beautiful words trumped only by my discovery that our Office Angel Janel has tidied out the condiment cupboards and restored order where chaos once reigned. The world can spin freely once again.