Shit My Mum Says (On Narcotics)

I’m just about to go and see my mother in hospital, and wondering if she’ll come up with anything as good as last January.

My mum: “Oh my god! Oh my god! You’re here!”

Us: “Hi.”

My mum: “That – WOMAN” (indicates nurse) “- told me you’d gone home. She said you abandoned me.”

Nurse: “I did not say that.”

Mum: “She is a horrible, HORRIBLE woman.”

Us (to nurse): “We are SO sorry.”

My mum: [fixes nurse with baleful death stare and maintains same for four hours]

About Christina Kenny

Christina Kenny is a music journalist based in London.
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