The scene: a West London outlet of the chain Anthropologie.
Changing room assistant: Hi! How are you what’s your name?
Me: Er… what?
He (brandishing board pen): Oh, it’s just so we can write your name on the door of your cubicle!
Me: I’m only trying on these pyjama bottoms.
He: No, it’s fine – it’s just so we can if ask you need any help!
* uncomfortable pause*
Me: My name is Bob.
He: Great! How are you spelling that?
Me (in spirit of inquiry): B. O. O. B?
He: Great! I’m Stuart. Give me a shout if you need anything. (Writes ‘Bob’ on cubicle door.)