Guest blogger Ania* responds to recent reportage of “THE Magic Fox Vintage Smoothie Boutique Urban Forest Pop Up Chill Retreat”:

Omg looks totes amazeballs. When do tickets go on sale? I’ll use the money I pretend I don’t earn from my corporate job to book a job lot! Right, let’s get sorted! I’ll get the ironic fairy wings and face paints, and you can start looking out the season’s Chanel festival look eco pants. Now we just need to make up some band names to talk about to freak out fellow campers with our astounding knowledge of underground bands “I fucking luuuurve Hippo Spunk Warrior” and spend hours on spotify sourcing who is currently the coolest skinniest floatiest leftyest proufoundyiest fuckedupyest workingingclassbutactuallywenttoetonyest chick with an acoustic guitar, a mike, and some weird ethnic instrument she picked up on her gap year in Malawi. Once we’ve had our colonic irrigation to make sure we don’t need to shit when we’re there, we’re ready to paaaaarday!!!!!!

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* Reprinted without permission